


Hypothetically

by orchids_and_lilies



Category: Free!
Genre: (w/ hints of demisexuality), Friends With Benefits, Gay!Rin, M/M, Pan/Bi!Haruka, Switching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-10 14:38:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8920903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orchids_and_lilies/pseuds/orchids_and_lilies
Summary: The one in which Haruka and Rin unexpectedly find themselves agreeing on one very simple — yet surprisingly fundamental — little thing: relationships are way too much trouble.





	1. Europe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hinalilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hinalilly/gifts).



> **To Hinalilly** : Here's wishing you a great holiday season! Both of your prompts were incredibly inspiring (and such a treat!), but I fear they deserve a lot better than my shoddy writing skills... I received heaps of help from my lovely beta [**CacophonyOfWords**](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CacophonyOfWords/pseuds/CacophonyOfWords), though, so I sincerely hope my best shot at your delicious "friends with benefits" set-up will be an enjoyable read for you.
> 
> To everyone else: I really wanted to grant Hinalilly's wish for a canon-compliant story, and somehow that ended up translating into... a lot of... _research_... and... links... being sprinkled throughout the entire story. Feel free to ignore these as you see fit, but in some cases the extra information will give you a little more insight into things that are only off-handedly mentioned (and may seem rather confusing at a glance). It will probably require suspension of disbelief in some cases, but please look at the linked articles and images with Free!-goggles on  & imagine how Haruka and Rin would fit into the real world! :)

_**Sunday, April 19, 2009 (HAMAMATSU, JAPAN):** _

According to the backlit LED-display of the brand new — and 100% water-powered, to boot — [travel clock](https://www.solidrop.net/product/creative-personalized-water-power-alarm-clock-fashion-mini-digital-led-clock-bedside-mute-calendar-temperature-humidity-display.html) Rin had entrusted him with barely a handful of days ago, completely unexpectedly and for no apparent reason whatsoever, it is **04:37 AM**. And the current temperature of their absurdly luxurious hotel room is a pleasant **19°C** , courtesy of [Okura Hotels & Resorts'](https://www.okura-nikko.com/japan/hamamatsu/okura-act-city-hotel-hamamatsu/) state of the art air-conditioning systems.

Haruka's bleary eyes haven't yet finished adjusting to the dim glow of the city below their 23rd storey window (sneaking in through a gap between the haphazardly drawn curtains), though, but he hardly needs to be able to see anything in order to _sense_ Rin's continued presence in the room. It's probably an odd little side effect of their prolonged vicinity lately, come to think of it. He's always been inexplicably attuned to Rin's very existence, in an utterly maddening sort of way, and now that they're finally slated to become part of the same team again...

 _Well_.

Something in the pit of Haruka's stomach has begun to _shift_.

Slowly but surely.

As a result, he's been left feeling unsettlingly breathless and disorientated — just a little more effectively than he'd care to admit to out loud, at that — ever since their joint success in Friday's 100m Freestyle preliminaries and semi-final. By none other than **_Matsuoka Rin_** , unparalleled pain-in-the-ass and troublemaker extraordinaire (rivalled only in success by a perpetually sugar-fuelled Hazuki Nagisa). And by Rin's seemingly unending proximity, his stupidly attractive smile, his alarmingly infectious determination, his unwavering faith, his questionable tastes in travel/hotel bookings, his penchant for knowing exactly how to get under Haruka's skin in the absolute worst _and_ best possible ways, the addictive quality of his unbridled laughter, and all of the poorly hidden insecurities he seems to be dead-set on carrying around with him wherever his feet take him.

 _Those_ kind of things.

To top things off: Saturday's spectacular neck-and-neck [final](http://68.media.tumblr.com/1e610efa3879fea8477f8cb3bb95edc0/tumblr_inline_obzkezNwz01qmzygz_1280.png) only seems to have made matters even _worse_. As if breaking the Japanese National Record with an improbable 48.73, only a hair's breadth ahead of a harshly panting Rin, had actually managed to irreparably addle Haruka's brain. Somehow.

It's all so very _inconvenient_.

And it's actually starting to look like he'll soon be able to add yet another item to the growing list of things Rin does — completely unwittingly, most likely, and therefore without any remorse or even a hint of acknowledgement — to regularly leave innocent bystanders dazed and dizzy with the urge to reach out... and... simply... _touch_ , as well.

Because, underneath the crisply starched sheets of his own bed (all the way across [the unnecessarily large room](https://d3g2yh83to8qa2.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/sites/35/2016/04/04055853/standard-1600x1000.jpg)), Rin is whimpering _._

Very quietly.

Every couple of seconds.

At first, though, a drowsy Haruka'd been ready to write the faint little noises off as the result of another one of Rin's — frustratingly recurrent — night terrors. Regardless of their relentless pre-[Japanese Championships](http://swim.seiko.co.jp/en/2009/S70701/eng_index.htm) training schedule (and Rin's numerous efforts to find a solution to the problem without resorting to the use of career-endangering medication), Haruka's 1LDK apartment is simply way too cramped for _anyone_ to successfully pull off a feat such as hiding something as huge and reiterative as a tendency to wake up gasping for air. And the fancy hotel room the two of them have been sharing for the past week-and-a-half or so really hasn't been faring all that much better, either.

That's why Haruka had almost gotten up to fetch Rin a glass of water. To lightly squeeze one of Rin's shoulders. To offer Rin a couple of awkwardly worded platitudes. And a brief, one-armed hug. Just to try and scratch Rin's chronic itch for _skinship_.

Before going back to his own bed.

To his own place.

The exact same way he's been doing every other night for the last couple of weeks now. Ever since Rin had shown up at his doorstep with a heavy gaze, an even heavier rucksack, and a veritable ton of goals and single-minded targets.

Rin sorely needs his sleep, after all. The long-awaited finale of the 100m Butterfly races is coming up in a little over twelve hours, for starters, and Haruka _knows_ how intent — and practically hell-bent, really — his brash friend is on beating the current Japanese Olympic Standard (despite the fact that the Olympic trials aren't even set to take place for another _three whole years_ ). Haruka even knows it in his bones, in fact. And in every nook and cranny of his heart, as well.

But he _also_ knows, by now, what Rin's nightmares sound like. A lot better than he'd like to.

And it isn't _this_.

This intermittent, sleep-controlled shifting of weight — and _hips_ — on top of the mattress. This unfamiliar tension in the air. And the barely audible whimpering (occasionally followed up by the faintest of sighs and grunts). The little noises coming from Rin's bed kind of sound just as breathless as their creator has so very regularly been making Haruka feel these last few days, to be honest. During daylight hours. And without a single shred of mercy.

It's pretty obvious, then, that Rin is having an entirely different kind of dream tonight. An erotic one, to be precise. One that's probably been brought on by his recent string of successes. Or all of the resulting endorphins, perhaps.

And Haruka appears to be stuck involuntarily _listening in_.

Until:

" _Fuck_."

Just like that, Haruka freezes in place (much like the stunning marble statues of the [Stadio dei Marmi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stadio_dei_Marmi) he's not-so-secretly looking forward to getting to sketch during the opening ceremony of the [13th World Aquatics Championships](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_World_Aquatics_Championships), in the very heart of Rome, come August). His breath immediately gets stuck somewhere halfway down his throat and his increasingly hazy thoughts grind to an even abrupter halt. And he only just about manages to remember to squeeze his eyes shut at the very last minute, too.

The entire hotel room disappears behind his eyelids in an instant. The solid wooden dresser between their queen-sized beds (with the alarm clock perched precariously on the very edge of its impeccably polished surface), the mint-coloured chaises near the window, the faux-leather padding running along the wall behind the headboards, and the dark lump of Rin's favoured warm-up and racing suits waiting for their owner at the centre of the table...

They're all _gone_.

And in their place a whole other image appears: one of Rin sprawled out on his stomach, fists clenching and unclenching at random intervals, as he unconsciously attempts to find relief by rhythmically rocking his hips and groin into the mattress below. The sheets appear to have vanished into thin air. Like _magic_. And the pale skin of Rin's bare shoulders and back practically glows in the low light of Haruka's imagination. As if it's begging to be touched. Admired. Or simply eternalised on one of the pages of Haruka's latest sketchbook, even. Among a row of marble sculptures. And gleaming just as brightly, too.

The unbidden thoughts hit Haruka with the force of a physical blow. And they steal his breath much faster, and even more effectively, than anything else has ever done before. It's all kinds of bewildering, even.

Luckily, though, the unwitting target of Haruka's accidental voyeurism doesn't appear to be aware of anything happening around him. He's far too busy letting out a series of uneven exhales, instead. Followed by another, much quieter — if unmistakably _wretched_ — little noise. Something hovering perfectly in between an aborted, humourless little chuckle and a dry heave.

Like he's suddenly on the brink of bursting into tears.

Or _something_.

Haruka very nearly begins to reconsider his earlier conclusion, then, but before he can even work up the necessary nerve to break the silence — with a whispered _'Are you OK, Rin...?'_ (and an equally hushed offer to turn the lights back on) — Rin is already sucking in what sounds like enough air for both occupants of the room. Surprisingly loudly so. And then there's a distinct creak of a bed. Along with the telltale rustle of sheets. And clothing.

Rin's clothing.

The dark grey, loose-fitting pyjama bottoms Rin wore to bed, to be exact.

 _'Fuck'_ , indeed.

All at once, Haruka is suddenly uncomfortably reminded of the fact that Rin has quite the number of years of living in a dormitory underneath his belt. And that he's probably as good as used to occasionally taking matters into his own hands by now. _Literally_ , too.

Without anyone else ever noticing, even.

Because if Haruka's attention hadn't already been drawn to Rin's bed, long before its occupant had woken himself up, then he'd probably still be none the wiser now. There aren't any more whimpers now, to begin with.

Nor grunts.

Or sighs.

Not with Rin fully conscious. And in equal control of his actions. Again.

In fact, it's all so impossibly _quiet_.

And in the very next moment, triggered by a tiny little stutter in Rin's breathing (one that will undoubtedly stick with Haruka for a very long time to come), Haruka suddenly realises three incredibly agitating things: 1) Rin's silent fumblings aren't leaving him entirely unaffected, 2) Rin clearly isn't pleased with the situation and is simply trying to get it all over with as quickly as humanly possible, and 3) Rin wouldn't even be doing this at all if he were aware of his roommate's scrutiny.

All of which obviously means Haruka shouldn't be allowing this to continue. Under any circumstances. Not without attempting at least some form of subtle protest, at the very least.

But he _does_.

And it all goes downhill from there, of course.

 

* * *

 

_**Saturday, July 11, 2009 (BELGRADE, SERBIA):** _

The [25th Summer Universiade](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_Summer_Universiade#Sports) in Serbia is Haruka's very first international competition as a member of the Japanese National Team, and he isn't at all surprised to find the strain of the past couple of weeks quickly getting the better of him (even though he'd much rather eat his own weight in Serbian desserts than admit that little fact out loud).

During the finale of the 100m Freestyle races at [7:03 PM](https://www.swimrankings.net/index.php?page=meetDetail&meetId=532343&gender=1&styleId=2&language=us) on Thursday evening, for example, he'd ended up clocking in at a rather unsatisfactory 48.57. In second place. Despite the fact that he'd actually managed to lead the pack for a good seventy-five meters or so.

It'd felt pretty exhilarating, too. For a little while.

Until it suddenly hadn't anymore.

It's not so much the number that's bothering Haruka, though, as the knowing leer Rin had instantly levelled him with across the red section of the lane divider separating their heaving chests. _'How does it feel to get your ass handed to you by an absolute eye-sore of a Russian?'_ Those heated eyes had seemed to demand of him, right there, without even a hint of consternation. _'He's probably got a good 30kg on you, y'know? And[he's over two metres tall](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sergey_Fesikov), too. Doesn't that make you want to serve him your bubbles even more, Haru? You might get your chance in Italy. If you can manage to edge me out again first, that is. We both know the competition schedule's always giving one-stroke ponies like you an unfair advantage, you lazy asshole.' _

Either way, Haruka's efforts had still earned him his first proper silver medal. It's a pretty little thing, too. Shaped a bit like a doughnut. Or a ¥50 coin. And Rin doesn't even seem to have minded coming in 4th very much (although [Hirai](https://edodevenreporting.wordpress.com/2014/10/27/one-of-japans-best-coaches-swimming-mentor-norimasa-hirai/) immediately ushering him away in order to discuss the promising results of the 100m Butterfly semi-final he'd competed in at [6:43 PM](https://www.swimrankings.net/index.php?page=meetDetail&meetId=532343&gender=1&styleId=16) might have had a thing or two to do with _that_ ).

By Saturday's — _today's_ — Medley Relay races, however, Haruka's composure has already made a full recovery.

To a backdrop of Rin screaming Australian profanities at the very top of his lungs (along with a couple of other, marginally less embarrassing things about a possible [disqualification for the Russian team](https://www.swimrankings.net/index.php?page=meetDetail&meetId=532343&gender=1&styleId=40)), right over the far politer mishmash of [Ryousuke's](https://www.swimrankings.net/index.php?page=athleteDetail&athleteId=4063572) and [Hiromasa's](https://www.swimrankings.net/index.php?page=athleteDetail&athleteId=4044666) encouraging cheers, Haruka finds himself easily securing Japan a spot in the final. By practically doubling the lead his teammates had so generously provided him with. As if the four of them have got something or other to prove. Which, in the wake of their own disqualification in the 4x100 Freestyle [preliminaries](https://www.swimrankings.net/index.php?page=meetDetail&meetId=532343&gender=1&styleId=27) on Sunday, they kind of _do_.

And they do it all over again roughly eight hours later, too.

At [7:23 PM](https://www.swimrankings.net/index.php?page=meetDetail&meetId=532343&gender=1&styleId=40), to be exact.

To win _gold_.

Which is how Haruka ends up wandering the unfamiliar staircase of the [Belgrade Art Hotel](http://belgradearthotel.com) with an increasingly touchy-feely Rin right on his heels (as if the idiot is simply incapable of shaking off the need to turn absolutely _everything_ into a competition long enough to complete as mundane a task as climbing a flight of stairs). It's almost midnight by now. And Rin's breath smells very strongly of [rakija](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rakia), an equally strong alcoholic beverage the two of them had been offered — very, very, very insistently — by [the raucous anchor](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radovan_Siljevski) of the Serbian team upon their joint arrival at the hotel lobby, while the rest of him positively _reeks_ of chlorine.

Haruka has no idea what the walking closet of a Serbian sprinter had actually said to Rin in order to get him to do something as uncharacteristic and ill-advised as _getting tipsy right underneath Hirai's nose_ , but the result is irrefutable: Rin is well on his way to inebriated, and it's been left up to Haruka to get him safely back to their shared room without inviting their Coach's eternal wrath.

Fortunately, though, the two of them manage to reach their door on the 4th floor without incident. And, when they finally get there, the hallway is blissfully empty as well.

"Accepting those last couple of shots might not have been the best idea I've ever had," Rin regretfully mutters into the high collar of his jacket, then, as Haruka makes another failed attempt at swiping one of their key-cards. The idiot's currently leaning half of his weight against Haruka's left side, while the other half is lazily propped up against the door frame with a bent elbow. "I'm probably going to need a whole extra session in the pool tomorrow. Just to work all of these damn calories off, I mean. You'll come with me, right...? After we escape [that mineral spa](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vrnja%C4%8Dka_Banja) Hirai-sensei keeps pronouncing the name of differently every single time he brings it up."

Haruka turns his head to eye Rin balefully from underneath the mess of his air-dried fringe, but makes no move to shrug any of Rin's considerable weight off. "It's Sunday tomorrow," He ops to remind his pain-in-the-ass roommate, instead, in a half-hearted bid to safeguard their only full day off from training. "And that spa's a three hour drive from here."

Despite his current state, Rin doesn't even _blink_. "That's never stopped you before," He fires back. Easily. And without missing a single beat. "You can't tell me you're not going to be absolutely fucking desperate for a proper swim, Haru. Not after a whole day of being forced to soak in a bunch of cramped little hot springs. We both know how much you hate that sort of thing."

Haruka turns his glare up a notch. "Haven't you been paying attention at all? Hirai said they aren't all _hot_ springs," He half-snaps, half-boasts, over the welcome _click_ of the heavy door in front of them finally unlocking itself. "There's one that's supposed to be around [17°C](http://www.travelserbia.info/places/spas/vrnjacka.php)."

Rin frowns. "Ugh," He says. "What's the fucking point of visiting hot springs if they aren't even _hot..._?"

Haruka pointedly ignores the question in favour of voicing his own: "Why did you accept all those drinks, anyway?"

Rin pauses on his way into the bathroom. His hand hovers rather awkwardly over the doorknob. "Radovan's grandfather gave him that bottle to celebrate the new [PR](https://www.swimrankings.net/index.php?page=athleteDetail&athleteId=4172191) he managed to set on Wednesday," He eventually begins. "It was home-made, you know? It'd probably have been rude to decline. Europeans tend to get a little weird about that kind of shit, don't they? Besides, he really wanted to thank the two of us for taking the medley exchanges so seriously. _'Too many disqualifications'_ , he said. Especially in the final. Three out of eight's pretty fucking insane, isn't it?"

It's Haruka's turn to frown, then. "He didn't seem that upset when I turned down a refill."

Caught in the act, Rin guiltily averts his eyes. "Looks like you got me there, _Holmes_ ," He grants. With unnecessarily dramatic flair. As usual. "I'll tell you the rest after I brush my teeth, OK? My mouth feels kind of fuzzy. It's really gross."

Haruka doesn't feel like waiting, though. He simply joins Rin in the tiny little [bathroom](https://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/02/3a/a6/39/nice-bathroom.jpg) instead, politely pretends not to notice the way his friend seems to be keeping one hand braced along the counter for support, and sets about brushing his own teeth at the very same sink. True to form, of course, Rin immediately throws him an openly searching look through the mirror on the wall (before allowing it to morph into an equally guarded smile — right around his toothbrush — the very second Haruka works up the nerve to bump their shoulders together).

It's strangely domestic.

Familiar.

Comfortable. And more than a little _comforting_ , as well.

They exit the bathroom and change into their sleepwear side-by-side, too. And once they're done with _that_ , Haruka dutifully checks the alarm clock while Rin makes his customary U-turn to take a leak. Opting to turn the air-conditioning on to provide some sorely needed white noise, he then slides underneath the covers of his [designated bed](http://belgradearthotel.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/IMG_5251-Art-Room-vs-Pre-twin-2-545x323.jpg) — nearest to the window, just the way he likes it best — and waits for Rin to come back and turn the lights off.

Rin does.

The way he always seems to be doing these days. If a little more clumsily, though.

And he also makes good on his promise: "I thought it might help with the nightmares," He half-confesses, half-declares, from the safety of his own bed barely an arm's length away. "I know it's already gotten a lot better lately, but I'm hardly about to settle for _that_. I want it fixed. Completely. For good."

Haruka makes a non-committal little noise in the back of his throat and rolls over to face Rin in the dark. And then he asks the one thing he's never dared to ask Rin directly before: "What are they about?"

As expected, Rin hesitates. For a good while. But the lingering effects of the rakija — in combination with Haruka's unprecedented curiosity, most likely — have obviously loosened his tongue quite a bit. "A lot of stuff," He quietly divulges. "Mostly my old man, I guess. But swimming plays a big factor, too." There's a pause, then. "And then there's _you_." And another one. "Sometimes."

Haruka's breath gets stuck in his throat. It's kind of been doing that a lot recently. " _Me_...?"

To his credit, Rin instantly attempts to soften the blow. "Not all that often," He amends. "And it's always about something really fucking _stupid_ , too. There's no way you'd ever say any of the things you do in my dreams. I know that much."

"What things?" Haruka distantly hears himself press, then, even though he could probably make an educated guess if he'd really wanted to (and there's a significant risk the repeated prodding will simply spell the end of their impromptu little _discussion_ , as well). He knows his actions in the past have left more than a couple of ugly scars on Rin's psyche. He doesn't need anyone to tell him that. Least of all Rin himself.

"It's usually just generic stuff about the team," Rin supplies surprisingly readily. And far more soberly than he'd sounded a moment before. "How I dragged you into everything without ever giving you a choice, y'know? Or how much you hate the world of competitive swimming." Barely a beat later, as if he isn't acutely aware of the power his words have over Haruka at all, he unflinchingly adds: "And _me_. Those kind of things."

"I'd _never_ — "

"I said I'm aware of that, didn't I?" Rin hastily interjects. "It's _fine_ , Haru. Don't sweat it, OK? Nightmares are hardly rational. They're made of utter bullshit. Everybody knows that."

Haruka doesn't think it's fine at all, though. "You're still holding something back, aren't you?"

Rin hesitates again. For a much longer time. And then: "My sexuality."

Caught completely off guard by that unexpected revelation, Haruka can only stare at the vague outlines of Rin's face in rapidly rising trepidation. For a long, shamefully drawn-out moment. This really isn't the kind of conversation he'd envisioned the two of them having when he'd asked Rin about his motivations earlier. At all.

Or _ever_.

"I don't care about those kind of things," He hurries to (re-)assure Rin, on an audibly unsteady exhale, as soon as he feels able to. "It doesn't matter to me. You know _that_ , too," Except, after pausing to swallow the uncomfortable lump in his throat, he can't quite help himself from seeking a little assurance of his own. "Don't you...?"

"I do," Rin confirms gratifyingly quickly (if a little less animatedly than Haruka'd have liked). "I think I've always known that. _Rationally_."

Haruka closes his eyes in relief. "Good," He decides. And then promptly finds himself making a whole other decision all together. "I meant what I said, though," He insists. "It makes no difference to me. Things like sexuality. Or _gender_."

Rather predictably, an audibly winded Rin mulls Haruka's words over very carefully before settling on a reply. "I thought you weren't interested in that kind of stuff," He can eventually be heard mumbling into his pillow — after a much longer pause, at that — without even bothering to dull the accusation in his voice. "You've always turned everyone down. Like your refills."

Feeling inexplicably irritated all of a sudden, Haruka pointedly rolls over to face the window. "Relationships are too much trouble," He unhappily tells the gaudy lace at the bottom of the curtains. And the shadowed patterns they cast on the wall. "Friendships are already hard enough to sustain without needing to juggle them with university and a dozen 6K sessions a week. I don't think I'm cut out for anything more complicated than that, Rin."

It's Rin's turn to make a neutral little noise in the back of his throat, then. Apparently.

"Until retirement, you mean...?"

Haruka considers it. Nods in agreement. Then belatedly remembers Rin can't actually _see_ the gesture in the dark. "Yeah," He ends up grudgingly muttering. "I guess so."

"That could be a pretty long way off," Rin obstinately chooses to point out, then, as if he genuinely thinks Haruka could use the reminder. "Don't get me wrong, though. Our reasoning might not be same, exactly, but the results definitely are: I need to make sure I stay completely focused on achieving everything I set out to do, yeah...? I've made way too many sacrifices along the way to risk it all for a couple of _distractions_. No fucking way. No thanks."

Unsurprised by that particular declaration, Haruka merely hums in response. He's — unconsciously, at the very least — known that little detail about Rin ever since the moment they'd first laid eyes upon each other. In fact, Rin's very own brand of tunnel vision is a comfortingly familiar aspect of their friendship by now. Just like the unwavering confidence he has in Haruka's abilities (or Haruka's unspoken promise to preserve all of the closely guarded secrets he's being entrusted with tonight).

For a little while, Rin even allows a companionable silence to settle over their room.

It's _nice_.

Until the veritable whirlwind of a redhead abruptly sets about grabbing hold of the proverbial rug underneath Haruka's feet and giving it a vicious _tug_ , that is. "Sex is a little different, I think," He begins, then, deceptively lightly (and with an uncharacteristic lack of self-consciousness that immediately makes the little hairs on Haruka's arms stand on end). "Don't you ever just want to blow off some steam with someone, Haru...?" There's yet another pause then. One that Haruka doesn't dare interrupt. Or inspect too closely, for that matter. "I didn't even know I could talk to you about these kind of things until a couple of minutes ago, you know? It's probably gone straight to my head. Along with all that goddamn rakija. The very least you could do is humour me a little, OK?"

Feeling increasingly out of his depth, Haruka can only offer Rin a pathetic echo of his earlier words: "I guess so..."

For all intents and purposes, though, Rin's next words sound like a complete and utter non-sequitur. At first. "What about _tonight_?" He apparently wants to know, then, right out of the blue. "Purely hypothetically, I mean."

Haruka has no idea what on earth possesses him to respond so earnestly to Rin's blatant proposition. But he _does_. "I wouldn't be able to turn you down," He tells Rin in an embarrassingly small voice. "It never sticks."

"Hypothetically...?"

"Hypothetically."

And even though they end up unanimously deciding to stay in their own beds (until their unexpectedly peaceful slumber gets interrupted by the shrill _beep-beep-beep-beep-beep_ of Haruka's precious little alarm clock, at the very least), Haruka knows it's only a matter of time until the theoretical scenario they'd — completely accidentally, it seems — painted the outlines of becomes their brand new _reality_.

The only question, now, is this one: _when_ _will the rest of it catch up with them?_

 

* * *

 

_**Monday, July 13, 2009 (VRNJAČKA BANJA, SERBIA):** _

It's their first full day in Vrnjačka Banja — Serbia's largest and most popular spa town — and, in the wake of a particularly gruelling 6:15 AM session (and an equally debilitating breakfast in [Hotel Breza](http://www.hotelbreza.mod.gov.rs/en/#.WEMSQtRXrcw)'s noisy restaurant), the entire team has been ordered to _relax_.

For Haruka, this ordinarily means camping out in bed with a video game or two. Before getting some much needed studying done. And rewarding himself with a short phone call to Makoto. Quite predictably, however, Rin has very different plans for the rest of their morning.

Namely: _sightseeing_.

Of course.

It quickly turns out the quiet little town doesn't exactly have a whole lot to offer two up-and-coming athletes looking for a quick and easy way to relieve their boredom, though. There _is_ a brief moment of respite when they come across a wooden statue of [the town mascot](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vrnja%C4%8Dka_Banja#/media/File:Maskotas_of_Vrnjacka_Banja.jpg) (a weird little sparrow wearing a [šajkača](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C5%A0ajka%C4%8Da) and [opanci](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opanci)), and Rin is extremely adamant about crossing the padlock-covered [Most Ljubavi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Most_Ljubavi) at least twice _'for good luck'_ , but they soon find themselves returning to the hotel's [pool area](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9dMGo-irfo) for a handful of increasingly playful short-course races. Right underneath Hirai's watchful — and occasionally openly amused — gaze.

And when the two of them eventually get tired of throwing dubious glances up a the mouldy ceiling every other lap or so, they reluctantly agree to beat a tactical retreat up to their shared room on the 5th floor.

To try and get some more of their assigned reading done.

Maybe.

The [twin beds](http://www.euroturs.rs/wp-content/gallery/sr-vrnjackabanja-breza/hotel-breza-vrnjacka-banja-8.jpg) actually appear to have been made in their absence (and there's a fresh stack of towels at the foot of each one), but Rin barely gives Haruka a chance to properly make his way into the room and take stock of the rather unexpected changes. Instead, he's abruptly shoving Haruka up against the bathroom door and jerkily burying his nose into the junction of Haruka's neck and shoulder. On the left side. Very insistently. And long before Haruka's even had the time to begin toeing his shoes off, too.

And, then, Rin suddenly _ceases moving altogether_.

"Rin?" Haruka tries, very quietly, as he tentatively reaches out to splay a hand over the small of Rin's back (in an effort to ground _himself_ , if nothing else). "What are you doing?"

Rin visibly flinches in response to the sound of Haruka's voice, but he makes no move to back away.

Or back _down_.

"Screw it," He emphatically tells the collar of Haruka's t-shirt, then, in an unusually rough tone of voice. "Hypothetically, or otherwise. I don't _care_ anymore. I'm so fucking sick of over-thinking this whole thing already, y'know? And it's only been _two days_."

Haruka impulsively cups the back of Rin's head with his free hand before attempting to speak again. Because he really doesn't want Rin to shrink in on himself any further. "What're you waiting for, then?" He half-demands, half-coaxes, as neutrally as possible. Then promptly gets distracted by the impossibly soft little strands of hair at the very nape of Rin's neck. "You already know I'm not going to turn you down, don't you?"

Completely against Haruka's expectations, though, the improvised little reminder actually _works_. Rin's confidence makes a spectacular come-back as good as immediately. He even determinedly shuffles closer, until the entire length of Haruka's back is pressed flat against the wooden door behind him, and then he slowly drags the tip of his nose upwards in search of the sharp jut at the underside of Haruka's jaw.

He's got Haruka's heartbeat positively racing in the blink of an eye. And he's only just getting _started_ , isn't he...?

But when Rin inevitably slots their hips together — with a neat little roll of his pelvis that effortlessly draws twin gasps out of _both_ of them — in a way that lets Haruka feel exactly how aroused he is, a wholly uninvited little thought suddenly makes itself at home at the back of Haruka's mind: Rin wouldn't be doing this if he knew the myriad of effects he's currently having on his teammate aren't born out of a physical desire alone.

Even so, Haruka doesn't have the strength to stop it all from happening. He simply allows it to continue.

Just the way he had done back in Hamamatsu.

On a Sunday morning.

In late April.

Because there's no way around it anymore. He knows it, now. For certain.

What the insistent — and incredibly troublesome, at times — pull he feels whenever Rin is nearby really _means_. And why he's been feeling so breathless and downright light-headed around Rin lately. And the irrefutable reason he's letting himself walk into this with his eyes wide open. Even though he should probably be squeezing them tightly shut right around now.

He _knows_.

And so he reluctantly swallows all of his knee-jerk protests, bites his tongue, and allows Rin to boldly rut against him. The exact same way he'd allowed Rin to unwittingly seek pleasure in front of him a couple of weeks before. With _the exact same results_ , too.

The tension rises.

A steady stream of tiny little whimpers and grunts begins to escape Rin. By which Haruka is, once again, not being left entirely unaffected. And then — just as Haruka is finally beginning to build up the necessary nerve to reciprocate — everything goes very _quiet_.

"Rin...?"

Rin detaches himself from the side of Haruka's neck, almost unbearably slowly, to look up at Haruka with an unsettlingly vulnerable gaze. His lips are very close. Lightly parted. And practically begging to be kissed. Right now. "How far do you want this to go?" He suddenly wants to know, then, in a tone of voice Haruka's never even heard him use before. "I didn't bring anything with me. Did _you_...?"

Haruka blinks to clear the fog in his head. " _Condoms_?"

Rin nods his head. Even more hesitantly.

Haruka blinks again. "No," He blurts out. "I've never needed them before."

And just like _that_ , Rin's previously open expression abruptly morphs into something alien and unreadable. "For someone who doesn't even carry anything on him, Haru," He determines. "You sure seem happy enough to let me call all of the shots. What's up with that?"

Haruka's hackles rise. Immediately. And all of their own accord, too. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Rin narrows his eyes. "Nothing," He lies. Quite blatantly so. "Don't take it the wrong way, OK? It's actually kind of _flattering_. Getting to see you act like this, I mean. You're not even giving me lip yet."

Heat rises to Haruka's cheeks at roughly the same time his gaze instinctively drops to Rin's mouth. "Can I try _that_?" He distantly hears himself ask, then, in favour of acknowledging his embarrassment. It hardly matters that he's never done these kind of things before, does it...? Rin is full of shit. He always has been. And he likely always will be. They _both_ know that, by now. "Kissing you."

Rin's frown instantly softens, even as he steps out of Haruka's loose embrace to make his way further into the slightly dilapidated room. "Your mind's kind of in the gutter right now, isn't it...?" He teases, unexpectedly lightly, and just as startlingly beckons Haruka towards the bed on on his left side. The dingy little thing he'd slept in the night before, that is. Right underneath a suspiciously large stain on the ceiling. "At least get on there first, would you? And get rid off your shoes while you're at it."

Haruka obliges him.

A moment later, he's rewarded for his cooperation with an armful of Rin's undeniably addictive body heat. And an unexpected bonus in the form of Rin's fond voice: "There's really no need for you to look _so serious_ , Haru. You're going to make me nervous. If you keep that up."

Haruka scrunches up his brows in mock irritation, but allows Rin to manhandle him into a slightly more comfortable position without complaint: side by side on the ramshackle little bed, with the lone pillow propping up both of their heads, and the tips of their noses barely a centimetre apart. "I don't like it when you run up ahead without me," He grudgingly admits when they've both settled down. "It feels _wrong_."

Rin snorts. "You're actually a pretty competitive guy underneath all that heavy-duty exterior of yours, aren't you?" He ascertains. "Even outside of the pool."

Haruka would very much like to look away (in silent protest), but is effectively stopped in his tracks by the pad of Rin's thumb making contact with his bottom lip.

It's just a light touch at first.

Gentle.

Introductory.

And undeniably tender, as well.

But then Rin _shifts a little closer_ — all over again, come to think of it — and suddenly the blunt end of his fingernail is digging into Haruka's lip and purposefully dragging it down to expose the very tips of Haruka's mandibular teeth. "Don't tell me you're _jealous_ ," He breathes, then, right into Haruka's open mouth. "I'd have to bring up all of those goddamn records you keep breaking left and right, in that case. And nothing kills a guy's mood faster than the thought of Hirai-sensei setting a bunch of reporters on his ass. Simply because _a certain idiot_ decided to disappear into thin air. Again."

It's Haruka's turn to lie, then. "What's there to be jealous of?" He mutters, somewhat awkwardly, around Rin's wandering thumb. And steadfastly refuses to acknowledge Rin's tired complaint ( _or_ the blatant hints of Rin's apparently considerable libido), while he's at it. "I'll catch up soon enough."

Rin lets out another amused little noise. "Not without a single condom on you, you won't," He fires back without missing a beat. "And isn't that my line, anyway...? I've got my sights set on that tantalizing 48.37 of yours, Nanase. Now _that_ 's what I'd call an instant turn-on." And then he promptly proves his point by swallowing Haruka's next retort up — something along the lines of, _'You know as well as I do that anything I set during a relay doesn't count,_ _Rin. FINA requires a static start...'_ , or possibly even, _'Are you ever going to stop calling me that? Or does that get you in the mood, too?'_ — with an expert little nip to Haruka's upper lip.

It's a quick little thing.

Barely enough for Haruka to really get a feel for it, to be honest. Even so, he already knows he wants _more_.

And Rin quickly turns out to be very amenable to that particular course of action, too. He generously allows Haruka to roll him over onto his back, humming lightly in encouragement, and even goes as far as to bury one of his hands in Haruka's hair in order to help guide their foreheads together. "Knock yourself out," He invites, quite unnecessarily so, while he indulgently runs a couple of the fingers of his free hand up and down the shell of Haruka's right ear. The feather-soft touch — and the sound of Rin's voice, gone all silky and smooth with blatant _interest_ , as well — goes straight to Haruka's groin. "No holds barred. And no strings attached, either."

Unsurprisingly, then, that is exactly what Haruka ends up doing.

He trades soft, maddeningly chaste little kisses with Rin until it no longer feels strange or callow to do so. And when he's accomplished _that_ seemingly impossible feat, he experimentally licks at the corner of Rin's smiling mouth. Until Rin's lips — and his _legs_ , too — part in an entirely different kind of invitation.

Rin eagerly takes over for him, at that point, and wastes no further time in showing Haruka all of the intriguing ways and places he likes to be kissed. "Figures you'd be a natural at this, too," He praises, a little tongue-in-cheek, just as Haruka decides he likes having Rin playfully tug at his bottom lip best (even more than having Rin's tongue lightly touch his own in between their open mouths). "Isn't there anything _else_ you'd like to try, though...?"

There _is_.

There's a whole slew of things he'd like to do to Rin right now, truth be told. 

Feeling unusually adventurous, Haruka slowly draws away in order to sit back on his haunches. "Is this OK?" He asks, as he pointedly hooks the very tips of his fingers underneath the gathered edge of Rin's sweatpants. "I really want to touch you."

Rin swallows.

Opens his mouth to reply.

And then, just as Haruka is about to make another harebrained admission or two, there's a series of rapid knocks on the door.

"Nanase-kun...?" [Sononaka's](https://www.swimrankings.net/index.php?page=athleteDetail&athleteId=4063651&athletePage=PBEST) raised voice can faintly be heard from the hallway, then, much to their joint alarm. "Are you in there? Hirai-sensei sent me to find you. There's something he'd like to discuss with you and [Takurou](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Takuro_Fujii) before lunch."

Haruka scrambles off of the bed — and a terribly pale-faced Rin — faster than he's probably ever done before. In his entire lifetime. "S-Sononaka-senpai," He greets, barely a split-second later, as the door swings open with an almost comically loud creak. "Rin's just about to drift off, I think. Do you mind telling me about the rest in the hallway?"

 

* * *

_**Sunday, July 18, 2009 (ROME, ITALY):** _

It's 8:49 PM.

They're backstage.

Haruka's sketchbook has been confiscated — very reluctantly, mind you — by an unusually animated Ryousuke. In its place, he's been given a wooden sign that says **GIAPPONE** in black lettering. To keep an eye on. Perhaps.

There's only nine of them here, all clad in the very same jerseys, tonight: Hirai, [Koga](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junya_Koga), [Matsuda](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Takeshi_Matsuda), Takurou, [Ranmaru](https://swimswam.com/tag/ranmaru-harada/), Ryousuke, [Ryou](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryo_Tateishi) (who'll be taking over Hiromasa's breaststroke leg in the Medley Relay races on August 2nd), Rin, and Haruka, himself.

The atmosphere between Takurou — or _Fuji-senpai_ , as he'd recently taken to insisting on being called — and Haruka is still a little touch-and-go right now, though. Especially in the wake of the 4x100m Freestyle preliminaries in Serbia. In which Takurou'd accidentally gotten their four-headed team disqualified from the final. With a false start. And it really doesn't help that, less than a week ago, Hirai had plainly offered _Haruka_ a chance to take over Takurou's set position in both of the upcoming [4x100m Freestyle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swimming_at_the_2009_World_Aquatics_Championships_%E2%80%93_Men%27s_4_%C3%97_100_metre_freestyle_relay) races here in Rome, either. The often coveted _'first leg'_ , to be exact. Because hitting the water first is the only way for individual swimmers to get a chance at setting officially recognised records during relays.

In hindsight, Hirai must have known presenting Haruka with such an offer would result in a swift rejection. Haruka's swimming style simply doesn't suit any other role besides his already appointed one, after all.

He's the anchor.

The _chaser_.

The one who doesn't even care about breaking — or setting — records. Whose only task is to bring victory home. Joint victory.

No, Hirai is definitely aware of _that_.

And yet. He'd still given Haruka _a choice_ , a rare chance at bypassing the only obstacle currently standing between Haruka and a brand new Japanese NR, and an oddly unassuming set of words that will probably stick with Haruka throughout the rest of his career: _"Medals shine for a limited amount of time, Nanase. They only ever last until the next cycle of competitions comes around. Records are different. If you set them right, their glow will keep you warm for over a decade."_

Warmth.

Haruka is fairly certain he knows the kind of heat Hirai had been talking about — quite intimately, even — by now.

It's right _here_.

In Takurou's fixed frown. In the openly assessing stares of the entire Ghanaian delegation. In the sweaty palm of Rin's hand (where it's pressed nearly impossibly tightly up against Haruka's own). In the setting Italian sun. And deep within Haruka's chest, threatening to spread like wildfire the very second he loses focus and fails to properly stomp it back down again, when a disembodied voice begins counting down across the speakers:

 ** _Tre_**...

 ** _Due_**...

**_Uno!_ **

Then — as if he'd been holding himself back all night and simply cannot stand to wait any longer — Rin is suddenly slinging his free arm around Haruka's shoulders _and encouraging everyone else to do the same_. The resulting scuffle leaves Haruka feeling a little light-headed. And even _hotter_.

A whole bunch of pictures are taken, too.

Meanwhile, on one of the large screens above their heads, Claudio Baglioni sings [a hymn](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1zk5f9CrGw) that as good as instantly brings tears to Rin's eyes. "You're so _embarrassing_ ," Haruka quietly teases him, as soon as he's successfully managed to disentangle himself from the worst of the commotion, and doesn't give himself time to feel self-conscious about initiating another hug himself. One that's just for the two of them. "Do you even understand any of the lyrics?"

Rin laughs. Clings to Haruka a little harder. And buries his nose in the exposed skin above Haruka's collar (in a way that reminds Haruka uncomfortably of his erratic behaviour back at Hotel Breza). "Of course not," He admits. "Just a couple of words. At most."

"Such as?"

Rin draws back, then, to bestow Haruka with one of the most beautiful smiles he's ever been given. By _anyone_. "The title," He half-brags, half-concedes, in an contradictorily timid tone of voice. " _'One World'_ , maybe...? Universo. Infinito. _Acqua_."

Despite himself (and the niggling desire to continue gently mocking Rin just a little longer), Haruka can't help but give in to a soft smile of his own. " _Acqua_ ," He mimics. Far more steadily than he's currently feeling. And with his heart lodged firmly in his throat. "I like it."

Rin laughs again. Eyes closed. And head thrown back.

He looks _breathtaking_.

For the next couple of minutes, Haruka's treacherous mind strays to [the padlock-riddled bridge](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ponte_Milvio) they'd crossed on their way over here. Just the two of them. As well as the unspoken promise in Rin's heated gaze when they'd dropped their luggage off at the [Hilton Garden Inn](http://hiltongardeninn3.hilton.com/en/hotels/italy/hilton-garden-inn-rome-claridge-ROMRCGI/accommodations/rooms.html) earlier that day. And its effects on Haruka's already frayed nerves.

But then he inevitably finds himself being nudged forward by Ryousuke in order to prepare for the [Walk Of Nations](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FxinX6KKDI&t=411s), during which the three of them — and an endearingly embarrassed Ryou (who keeps attempting to sneak furtive glances at their terribly amused looking Coach) — end up taking the stage with tightly clasped hands and nearly identical smiles on their faces.

And then there's only the oppressive heat of the spotlights, the soothing warmth of Rin's hand, and the all-consuming fire wrecking havoc within Haruka's chest.


	2. East Asia

Continued [[ **HERE**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10239338)].

 


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